Can You Say Yikes?!

Mt. Titlis, Switzerland - December 2022

My cousin, Julie, is a thrill seeker. That's her on the right, all casual and shit.  I'm white-knuckling the railing behind her.  She wants to swim with sharks in Australia, I want a nice foot rub. When we were at the peak of Mt. Titlis she kept walking over to the edge (no guard rail, just some rope) and would look down to see how high we were like a bloody fool. Don't get me wrong, the scenery was magnificent. Majestic. Awe-inspiring.  But we were so damn high!  She talked me onto the cliff walk and I regretted it instantly.  I was already dealing with a little dizziness from altitude sickness, but the footbridge moved with each step and I was done.  I stayed long enough to get this pic then shook my way back on to firm ground.  She was out there for like 30 minutes taking photos and videos, talking with the other brave souls.

It's like that in life, isn't it?  There are those of us who seek out the dangerous and those who cling to the secure.  A few of us fall in the middle.  I'm generally less of a risk-taker than most.  I don't even play the slots.  I'm even more cautious when it comes to matters of the heart. My late husband and I were together for close to 30 years.  Not all of them were good, but we had a mostly happy life and I loved him fiercely.  I had been hurt before we met.  Actually, damaged is a better word.  So, when I was on my own again after he passed, the walls went back up.  And truthfully, they're still up.  For the past 12 years my love has been focused on my family, especially my grandkids. They're what saved me. I had some dates. I had a year (two) of debauchery. But no romance, just fun. I don't know if it's what I tell people, that I'm just not interested, or if it's because I don't want to risk that pain again. Maybe it's both. And maybe it's time for me to take a few risks and put myself back out there. Pretty sure I'll be doing that at sea-level, though.