Home Is Calling
Bitash, Egypt - July 2024
I'm currently sitting in my Airbnb in Bitash, a small town on the outskirts of Alexandria, Egypt, a block from the Mediterranean Sea and all I can think about is home. Which is ironic since I gave up my home to embark on this journey. Which means I don't really have anywhere to call home anymore.
They say "home is where the heart is", and my heart is in the US right now. It's with my people - my family and friends. And I've decided to take a break from traveling and spend some time with them. So I'll be taking a vacation from my "vacations".
I've had more than my share of ups and downs this year: the death of one of my closest friends, a large and unexpected expenditure, a very large theft, those are the big ones. And I've had the typical smaller ones you'd expect to occasionally encounter while traveling: lost luggage, flight delays, not up-to-par accommodations, challenging prescription refills. I've also had some extensive dental work done, which was not pleasant. Through it all I've tried to keep my chin up and keep moving forward. After all, that's what I do. That's what I always do.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some wonderful things happen while traveling this year, too. I've seen so many beautiful places, places I've dreamed of visiting. I had a once-in-a-lifetime road trip with my sister through Italy. I've marveled at the landscapes and devoured the scrumptious food. I've enjoyed the kindness of strangers. I've started writing again, like writing writing. I've even written a little bathroom book (which will be published very soon!). There have been many amazing things, and I have memories I'll cherish forever.
But for some reason, the bad stuff is really getting me down and I'm homesick for the familiar. You may be thinking, boo-hoo, so sad about your traveling the world. But like many, I struggle with depression. It may not always show behind the smile, but it's lurking there in the eyes if you look long enough. If I let you look long enough. I've taken medication since before my husband passed away, over 12 years now, and for the most part it's effective. However, with the inability to always get my prescription refilled I have only been partially medicated this year and that's not good. The edges aren't as softened as they should be and the colors aren't as bright.
I'm writing this to say, we all have our struggles, big or small. We sometimes can't get out of bed. We stare blankly at the tv or computer. We don't socialize. Many of us feel moments of sadness or even despair. We feel like giving up or giving in. But if we pause long enough to allow ourselves to breathe, to come up with alternatives, we can set ourselves on the right path again. For me, that path is going home for a bit. Whatever it is for you, I hope you'll take it and know that you can get through whatever it is. Take a deep breath. Now take another. We've got this.