The Great Purge
Tampa, Florida - October 2023
In preparation for my big adventure, I had some difficult decisions to make. The first was what to do about my apartment. It was a rental, but I loved it. It was home. I had loved living in Tampa, and that apartment was a big part of why. I didn't feel like storing my furniture and belongings was the best idea. But what was the alternative? Selling or giving it away. I'd pared down to what would fit in a car before, so I knew I could do it. But it was still a lot to consider. After mulling it over a while I decided to rip the bandaid off and just go for it. I plan to be gone for three years and these things have no place in my new life.
First, I had to give up my home. While it wasn't fancy it was oh so comfortable and welcoming. Giving it up made me officially homeless. When I made a big move before and started with all new things, I had a home already lined up. So this was unchartered territory. But it was the only practical thing to do. And home is really where our hearts are. My heart is in so many places, all over the country in all the places where my family live, so I'll never be truly homeless.
Second came my furnishings, including my decor and dishes and the like. I sold some stuff and my son inherited a lot of stuff. Lucky him, because I had some pretty great stuff. But it's just stuff, I kept reminding myself. He agreed to store a couple of things I had inherited, family heirlooms, which helped. But every piece of furniture is now gone. Hopefully being enjoyed and loved by their new owners. When, or if, I ever settle down again I'll buy more stuff... I do love to decorate!
Next up, my clothes. Why the hell did I have so many clothes? I only wore about a tenth of them. But they had to go. I went through and pulled the stuff I would likely take with me (in my one suitcase!) and my cousin came up and went through the rest. What didn't work for her went to her coworkers. And there was a LOT. (More than I realized when later I did laundry and once again had way too much stuff. So, my daughter-in-law got that.) Purses, shoes, everything. Including my cabinets full of make-up and beauty products. Enough to glamify a small city. I allowed myself to keep one toiletry bag, one cosmetic bag, a small travel jewelry case, a couple of handbags and shoes, and a minimal, basic wardrobe. Damn, that was harder than the furniture.
What was left? Oh yeah, my car. The thought of getting rid of a car that was paid off wasn't easy, but it would just sit for three years, so screw it, I gave it to a granddaughter. Hopefully she'll get a few good years out of it.
At first getting rid of everything made me super anxious. Like diarrhea anxious. But over the next few weeks I became used to it, and I now find it quite liberating. While I don't own anything, I also don't have anything weighing me down, holding me back. I have a super small wardrobe which means it will be easy to decide what to wear. And having no room in my suitcase means I won't be spending money on clothes. Big win. Same goes for the shoes and make-up stuff. Living this way is gonna save me a small fortune in cosmetics alone.
I'm writing this not to just demonstrate what a big life change this was for me, but also to say that we don't need half the shit we have. We become so fixated on material things that we often forget that our real treasures are our friends and family. I've been blessed with some of the best friends a person could ask for, I don't know how I got so lucky. I've had a lifelong best friend who has been with me through thick and thin, who's loved me even when I didn't love myself. She is my touchstone and I'm so very fortunate to have shared a life with her. The hardest part of my move is not spending time with her. I have countless other friends who bring me so much happiness it's embarrassing. I come from a very large family, with three sisters, a brother and tons of cousins. We don't always agree, but that's okay, I can't always be right. We're very tight knit, even when we don't like each other. What I mean to say is I have more love in my life than a person needs, and I don't take any of it for granted. I know these relationships, these people, are what makes a happy life. And I really hope you realize the same and appreciate those relationships for what incredible gifts they truly are.
As for the car, I'm due for a new one anyway.